There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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