How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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