She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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