I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
