You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
