he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
