I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
