and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
