The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
false alarm, still single
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
