Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
