sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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