home. puking in laundry basket.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I touched a dick in church today
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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