Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
