Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
