i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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