Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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