she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
