he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
