bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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