We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
