i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
