I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you would pick up someone in the library
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
