she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
