I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
