Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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