I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize