She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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