What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
