I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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