Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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