I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
