its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
