So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
