I didn't shave. On purpose
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
