so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
