Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
