This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize