it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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