I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
