so explain again why im purple
no
i may or may not be watching the land before time
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
