Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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