Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
