Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
