Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
