I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
No stitches, just platelets and will power
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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