Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize