There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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