Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
