Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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