You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
