I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
