just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
