I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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