A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
