i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
