We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
