You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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