He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
