Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
