it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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