I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
