You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
