I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize