I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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