I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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