I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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