when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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