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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
