god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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