Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
