Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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