In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize